“Where could our son belong and shine?”
When our son Fraser was born, we were devastated to learn he had a rare medical condition that left him with profound physical and developmental challenges and meant his life would be limited. As first-time parents, we had no warning during pregnancy to prepare us for this reality. The early months were filled with hospital stays and uncertainty, and eventually we were told that Fraser was unlikely to survive past infancy.
The news shattered our hopes and dreams for our beautiful boy. Our lives became a waiting game, and we felt increasingly isolated. Because of Fraser’s fragile condition, I knew that joining the local baby groups or building a “normal” weekly routine with other new parents wasn’t possible. That loss of community compounded our grief and left us searching for a place where Fraser could belong.
“We found a belonging at Christopher’s”
Support came from Christopher’s Children’s Hospice (now part of Shooting Star Children’s Hospices). Just ten minutes from our home, it became a sanctuary – what I often describe as “a BIG HUG”, as from our first visits, the staff welcomed us with warmth and understanding, offering a safe space to enjoy Fraser and for him to be able to express himself and have positive experiences.
We created a weekly routine built around activities Fraser could enjoy: hydrotherapy, playgroups, and, most importantly, music therapy. Monday mornings quickly became the highlight of our week – the time when Fraser met with his music therapist, Vicky Kammin.
Vicky’s joy and enthusiasm were infectious. She greeted us like family, and while Fraser had his music therapy session I was given precious time to rest and connect with other parents and staff. Fraser responded instantly to her presence. After each session he returned animated, alert, and smiling – switched on to his surroundings in a way that reminded us of his capacity to learn and engage.
Over time, music therapy grew into much more than weekly sessions. Fraser had opportunities to join larger projects, such as a three-day workshop with players from the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. With the support of his hospice carer, Fraser was able to play instruments, create music, and take part in a performance alongside professionals and other children. For us, sitting in the audience, this was our “moment to be proud parents” – a chance to see our son shine on a stage, something we thought we’d never experience.
Fraser also took part in music projects beyond the hospice, including a filmed session for the TV programme Over The Rainbow. These experiences gave him visibility, joy, and dignity – allowing him to be celebrated not for his limitations but for his abilities.
“Through Music Therapy, we have memories of Fraser that will live on forever”
The impact of music therapy on our family is hard to put into words. It gave Fraser a channel of expression, joy, and connection, and it gave us cherished memories of seeing him thrive. The bond he formed with Vicky was built on trust, understanding, and a shared love of music – a relationship that brought out the very best in him.
Music therapy gave Fraser a voice, gave us pride, and gave our family belonging in a world that could so easily have been defined by isolation and loss. To this day, I remain profoundly grateful – to Christopher’s for the sanctuary it provided, and to Vicky for her reliability, creativity, and compassion.